KTPB is Dead

KTPB is dead. Long live KTPB.

"The night that KTPB died... Nana Na naNa naNa..."

KTPB sale still not complete

From the latest Kilgore News Herald:

"KTPB sale still not complete

by LESTER MURRAY news2@kilgorenewsherald.com
When Kilgore College agreed to sell KTPB to a California-based Christian radio network, all parties expected the deal to be done by the end of day on August 31. "

It goes on to say essentially, "Yeah, but we're firing the staff today anyway."

The article will be available to read online in 4 weeks.

Also today: Kilgore College Rangerettes lost in field, and Texas ranks 49th among US states in number of residents with high school education.

One Day Left

Tomorrow is the last day of my employment at KTPB.

Here is a fun picture of the windowless building I have been working in for the past year.

It's the beige one.

The red one on the left is the building that was supposed to be demolished last year. It is full of ripped carpet and toxic mold.

Yay.

The sky is pretty though.

More Thoughts and Perspectives on Radio

Here is an article from the Austin Chronicle

Another article from somewhere else on the fortunes of Public Broadcasting

Thoughts on media ownership from the Future of Music Coalition

and of course

Corporate Radio Sucks T-shirts from Woxy.com

Zack of All Trades - Future Blob

Now I understand.

This nameless faceless anxiety I'm feeling about the end of my job.

It was lodged in my subconscious somewhere back in the eighties on a Saturday morning.

News Policy

National news policies and priorities are still an interesting subject for me.

Much of the priorities are set by the the Associated Press and the New York Times. In other words, what they see as important is parrotted by virtually every other news outlet in the country. If you read a newspaper, pay attention to how many articles are written by AP or NYT reporters rather than anyone local.

One advantage I have as a local news reader: I was able to take the entire first page of my AP news feeds last week and skip it since I didn't think the hullaballoo about the Ramsay case was news. That's right. Many of last weeks news feeds had like the first three national or international stories on that one subject.

Radio Sucks

It is official.

On the cover of the latest edition of Wired.

Radio Sucks.

Thank you Mr. Hansen.

Radio Update

You may have noticed how few of my postings deal with the ongoing saga of the sale of KTPB. I have many things on my mind lately, and frankly I still don't know what to say about it.

My last day of employment is the 31st which I guess is Thursday.

Since there will be no music director and no staff after then, I guess they will go to a constant feed of Peter VanDeGraff from the satellite Beethoven network like we have been on our overnight hours. I'm sure there will be many listeners who won't even notice. There is rarely any mention of any of this on the air.

Kathy, the station GM and one of the announcers, has been out of town for a few days since she has a job interview in her home state of Kansas. She pre-taped the final edition of her Friday afternoon Musical Theatre Hour program which I started before I left the office this afternoon. All of the music on the show was about goodbyes. It was titled "The Party's Over."

I guess that is the most blunt expression of the present situation which has aired recently.

I am spending a great deal of mental energy trying to figure out what I am going to do next. I can't imagine living in this area any longer. Other than that, I'm sending out resumes to Ohio, New York, Colorado, Los Angeles, and Minneapolis among others.

I have given some thought to what piece of music would be fitting as my final act as Music Director. I have too many good choices so I will probably wait and see how I feel next week.

Part of me wants to end with Beethoven's 9th symphony to go out with an air of overcoming obstacles. Another part wants to go out with Mahler's 6th symphony, also known as his tragic symphony since it ends after more than an hour of music on a note of complete despair.

The loudest voice in my head can't help but think of the song written by John Hickman when his band Cracker was saying farewell to a long and complicated relationship with Virgin Records. The title was "It Ain't Gonna Suck Itself."

I am somewhat disappointed to see that this job for which I moved to this area of the country is ending under unfortunate conditions. Of course, the majority of my time of employment here could be considered unfortunate conditions. I remember last summer we were operating out of a temporary office in a building with no air conditioning that should probably have been condemned. Certain members of the staff speculated at the time that it almost seemed like the college administration was trying to get rid of us.

I'm not really bitter. Chances are good I will end up somewhere much more pleasant. This was a good cause to fight for, but the fight is over.

I came in somewhat unsure of whether I could be the Music Director of a Classical Music station. That insecurity led me a while ago to almost feel it was my fault the station was going under. I would hope if that was the case they would have replaced me rather than just letting me destroy things. That's a pretty good insight to my thinking.

This place has had bigger problems for a long time. They had a good run. We had a good run.

The party's over. Almost anyway.

Starbuck's here I come.

Killing us softly 3

This is a video I first saw a version of when I was in college studying mass communication. It has had an enormous influence on how I view advertising, movies, magazines, and virtually any sort of visual communication. I think everyone should see this at some point whether they come away agreeing or not. The other 3 parts are available on youtube.

You're the Man Now Dog

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you once again to an example of the greatness possible with this brandly newfangled internet thingamawhosit.

This is my way of paying tribute to YOURETHEMANNOWDOG.COM

This now legendary site has spawned a whole culture of what have come to be known as YTMND sites, a YTMND Wiki site, and tons of imitators.

As a mental exercise, imagine travelling back in time about 10 or 15 years and trying to explain this to your younger self.

I'll wait here.

Heff Ra on Myspace

I just found my old friend and co-conspirator from the KRTU days on MySpace.

You can find Heff-Ra at www.myspace.com/heff_ra

R.A. Wilson - Quantum Mechanics for Dummies

One of my more fascinating discoveries on netflix recently is the film "Robert Anton Wilson - Maybe Logic." Here is one of my favorite segments where Wilson is asked (through his drunken Pauli Girl translator)to explain quantum physics simply. He actually kind of does it.
Maybe not for everyone, but I loved it. Fnord.

Meddling With the Primal Forces of Nature

"I try to think about things logically, and, as a result, people think I'm a satirist."
- Robert Anton Wilson

I have great difficulty naming an absolute favorite in any category. I can talk at length about why I like certain movies or songs or books or genres or cars or whatever, but, like the pyramid on the great seal, I have difficulty envisioning the apex.

I've lately been identifying my favorite movie as Network from 1976.

I am not necessarily mad as hell, and I assume I will be taking it for quite some time, but I must say I identify more now than I used to with Howard Beale's plight of being removed from the air for bad ratings.

I just ran across some not exactly breaking news that George Clooney plans to produce a live television production of Network sometime in the near future.

I wonder if anything in the story will have to be updated to make it seem like satire now.

Must See Birth Control

I was just working at my computer with the TV on, and I heard a song I recognized from somewhere.

Then it struck me.

It was the song Sure Thing by St. Germaine that I used as the background for my legendary Must See Radio promo from a few years back.

It was used in a commercial for what is apparently a hip, happening new birth control pill called (I'm not making this up) Yaz. The commercial features several hip, happening yuppie women hanging out at a stylish restaurant or bar while listing possible side-effects of pharmaceuticals in great detail to each other.

Wow. How appropriate.

It really is dope.

G

Patton Oswalt on Morning DJs

Here is a fun little essay by the comedian Patton Oswalt on the sheer joy of appearing on wacky morning radio shows.

Click Here to Go to There

Reminds me of my years doing the wacky morning classical music and BBC news morning show in the morning.

I never bothered to pretend I was enjoying myself. I did however pretend I was conscious. Still do.

Moving Right Along

Here's another movie I can add to the previous list.

I hadn't seen The Muppet Movie in years before it was rereleased on DVD a few months ago. It was unavailable for a while before that.

Something struck me as strange.

The whole plot of the movie revolves around Kermit's refusal to sell himself out and become a spokesman for Doc Hopper's French Fried Froglegs restaurant. He says he can't get over the thought of millions of frogs on crutches.

Fast forward a few years to the recent ad campaign for Pizza Hut featuring Miss Piggy shilling for what my deepest inner cynic would assume was a ham-lovers pizza.

It isn't really that severe of perfect irony, but it still seems a bit wrong.

I'm not a number. I'm a free man!

I was talking to a friend last night when a recurring subject came up again. There are certain fictional stories and myths with which we both have some sort of deeper connection. Stories that almost seem to be written about us. Here is a partial list of some of those stories:



The Matrix
Harry Potter
Star Wars
The Prisoner
Donnie Darko
Spiderman
UHF
Brazil
Fight Club
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Joe Vs. the Volcano
Good Will Hunting
Ghost World
Waking Life
Pi: Faith in Chaos
Office Space
2001
The Shawshank Redemption

I think I'm slowly beginning to understand why I keep thinking on a deeper level these stories are all about me. Not that I can fully verbalize it yet.

Part of the connection is that the overall story arc of many of these is very far from new. The story or myth of the misunderstood chosen one if you will. The hero finds his destiny.

I have heard it said the connections go back to, and perhaps precede, the stories of Osiris, Dionisis, Apollo, Moses, Mohammad, Buddha, and if you are willing to go there even the story of Jesus of Nazareth. A prophet is never appreciated in his home town.

I haven't really come to conclusions yet, but I find the maybes to be fascinating.

John Patrick Shanley, the writer of Joe Vs. The Volcano, Moonstruck, and many plays, won the Pulitzer Prize in 2005 for his play "Doubt."

Here is an excerpt from his introduction to the play:

"What is Doubt? Each of us is like a planet. There's the crust, which seems eternal. We are confident about who we are. If you ask, we can readily describe our current State. I know my answersto so many questions, as do you. What was your father like? Do you believe in God? Who's your best friend? What do you want? Your answers are your current topography, seemingly permanent, but deceptively so. Because under that face of easy response, there is another You. And this wordless being moves just as the instant moves; it presses upward without explanation, fluid and wordless, until the resisting consciousness has no choice but to give way."


And to finish, here is a quote from Morpheus in "The Matrix."

"You are here because you know something. What you know you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind driving you mad."

Self Portraits

In the process of trying to update my web presence over the past few days, I've had to confront a bit of my own personal history in recent years.

I hope I never work the night shift ever again.

I went through some old photos of myself from the past few years, and I could see this period of decline during the time when I had little contact with dayshift humanity.

It looked like those before and after shots they use for anti-drug messages. Somehow I gained weight, got paler, shaved less, and got much less kempt in general. The good news is I think I'm starting to get back to being myself again.

I put a few pictures of me on mustseeradio.com just because that's what I was working on, and, well... what else am I going to put there. Let's just say there is a time gap in the pictures.

I seem to do best when I have a forum for self-expression. More specifically, the difference seems to come inside my own head when I feel like I have given myself permission to say what I think and come to my own conclusions.

I like Classical Music. However, the ordeal I've gone through recently has made me really sick of it. Not necesarrily sick. There are just so many kinds of great music in the world. If I have to listen critically to any one type of music all day long, I will probably crave a change before long. That's why hip-hop sounds so good on the drive home. It is good in a way that doesn't require you to sit silent and motionless while you listen.

Brian Springer - Spin

Using the 1992 presidential election as his springboard, documentary filmmaker Brian Springer captures the behind-the-scenes maneuverings of politicians and newscasters in the early 1990s. Pat Robertson banters about "homos," Al Gore learns how to avoid abortion questions, George Bush talks to Larry King about halcyon -- all presuming they're off camera. Composed of 100% unauthorized satellite footage, Spin is a surreal expose of media-constructed reality.

Must See Radio Updated. Sort of.

I spent some time yesterday changing some things on mustseeradio.com rather than just whining about it.

I must say I feel like I've accomplished something.

It still has no content, but now it has more blue.

Now I've got those creative juices flowing again.

Watch out world.

Online Sacred Texts

Here is a fun little site I ran across in the past year.

The Internet Sacred Texts Archive has the texts of a ridiculous amount of historically important and otherwise interesting books available for your perusal.

They even have some books by Ignatius Donnelly, who I may or may not be related to. He wrote a book on Atlantis about a hundred years ago called "Atlantis: The Antediluvian World" which is still the go-to source for many conspiracy nuts and others with interest in such things.

This website not only has the complete text of the primary books of the world's major religions, it also has books on conspiracies, UFOs, magick, Theosophy, Shakespeare, Thelema, folklore, history, sexuality, music, and other nonsense.

Kind of like a library of bizarre old books on your computer.

I found this site in my process of research for my job. As Music Director for this station, I occasionally have to find information on the inspiration composers find for the things they compose. Classical music and opera seem to draw on literature as diverse as German poetry, ancient legends, religious stories, the epic of Gilgamesh, and the Bible. I figured it was wise to read some of these things myself since I was talking about them on the air.

Plus, when you work weird hours by yourself, you can only keep going back to the Onion just so many times in a day.

If you are looking for something to read online which might just educate you as well as keep your brain occupied, this is a good place to remember.



I

Antique Websites

I spent some time in the preliminary stages of updating my website at mustseeradio.com for the first time in about three years today.

This, of course, begs the question of why haven't I updated it in such a long time?

I even brag on my resume that I was a national finalist for an award a few years back for my work on the old KRTU website. It just seems even more pathetic how sad my various websites are. Even krtu.org has since been redesigned by someone else.

A few years ago, I had ambitions of possibly starting my own business doing things like web design, graphic design, audio production, voice-overs, and the like. I went through the first steps of setting up my computer and some websites.

Then my computer started crashing.

It took me a couple of years to get things up and running again. Of course, during this same time period, I was working ridiculous overnight hours as a DJ, and I was losing touch with the normal schedules of humanity.

It can be quite amazing the effect on your life of being constantly sleepy.

Once I moved to East Texas a couple of years ago, I thought I would get things going as they should have been. Then I had more computer problems. Then I ran into the problem of working in an office with no decent computers. Then I had to get up at 4:45 every morning and became constantly sleepy again.

I'm still trying to sort through all of this myself.

I basically gave up on it for several years. Now I think I need to fix some things.

Stay tuned. I hope to completely redesign my embarassing websites in the near future.

New Schedule

I just got home from working the later shift at the station.

I have mixed emotions about the new schedule. It is much easier to wake up later. There is just absolutely nothing going on in East Texas this late on a tuesday night.

Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow morning.

It actually seems likely that I will be thankful if I ever end up on a normal 8 to 5 schedule again. Maybe I will feel more in sync with the rest of humanity.

Perhaps my melancholy this evening is because I had to get up and do the 6am shift yesterday even though I didn't expect to. I also found out I will probably have to do it again on Friday.

Yeegh.

Maybe I will read this later and not understand what I'm trying to say.

KTPB Sale Links

Here are some links to coverage of the KTPB Sale.

New York Times

KETK NBC 56

KLTV 7 Longview

Longview News Journal

Tyler Morning Telegraph


Sorry if the links are wonky. I copied them from the KTPB website.

Future of Rock and Roll

One of the few things keeping me sane-ish recently is the ongoing opportunity to listen to the nice folks at woxy.com.

Still quite possibly the best internet radio station.

From what I hear most of the time, it is easy to forget there is still great music being made in our own time. Just a few minutes of listening to woxy, and I renew my optimism about the future of music in general.